I'm happy to acknowledge that it's time I tap into another version of myself. I've had my in love girl summers and I wasn't impressed. I've had my hot girl summers and I wasn't impressed. During those times I wasn't receiving what I needed. I was more focused on what I wanted. I wanted a man, so I stayed in fucked up situations. I can't say I didn't get what I wanted. I realized each time came with a different price. Mentally I was confused. Manipulation is a bitch. Emotionally I was uncertain. Abuse comes in different forms. Physically I was drained. It was hard to get out of bed most days. Each time the price went up, and each time changed me. The crazy part is that my hot girl summers and in love girl summers ultimately had the same goal. I was seeking the affection, validation, and attention of a man. Not any man but the man of my choosing. Look carefully at the man you choose, for he is a direct reflection of the woman you are. As I entered into the new year, I promised myself that I would focus on something different. I desired to heal and be happy. I took the first 3 months reflecting on what I was doing wrong. Within that third month I started thinking about what healing looks like for myself and what it means to be happy. I started working on setting boundaries and focusing on my craft. I started practicing putting me first again. I'm not sure that I'm doing it right. However, this summer I'm releasing this version of me by any means necessary. I'm only engaging in activities that brings me positive energy. I'm opening myself up to new possibilities. I'm expanding my vision. I'm connecting with my spirit. I'm increasing my knowledge. I'm working on myself and changing some parts. I'm thankful that I don't have to rebuild myself. Even in the mist of my recent storms, I didn't break. I thank GOD for being my foundation. To the healed woman that I am, I love you. You were always worthy of more and more you shall receive.
